Saturday, February 14, 2015

Some Bad Luck

Well, our lives have been pretty eventful lately, and not all of it has been great. However, we are learning and growing as a family and sometimes it takes some bad luck to remind me of the many blessings we still have in our lives.

In December, I had another miscarriage. Although it is my second, the heartbreak is the same. I do feel like Brad and I were more prepared for this to happen again. As a result, Jaxon has had plenty of sweet cuddles with his mom. I am blessed with an amazing, sweet, and crazy little boy, and I feel immensely grateful each day to have the role of being his mother. After experiencing miscarriage before I have been way more aware of how many people experience trials with having children. My heart goes out to all the mothers out there struggling and yearning for a baby. It is something that is so sacred and special and as much as we would love it to work according to our time table and plan, it is our Heavenly Fathers plan. I have been reminded to turn my heart over and to trust that he has a plan for me and my family. 

"When it rains it pours": Since then we have tried to make a conscious effort to stay positive and happy but have been hit with a spell of "bad luck." Here are a few of our not-so-fun things that have happened and the positive spin to make it seem better. ;)

- In January we returned home from Utah a few days early so Brad could get lots of practice in for a exam (practical waxing a tooth). He felt confident, but when the day came couldn't seem to get it to form how he had in his many hours practicing and ended up getting an unsatisfactory (you either pass or you don't) on the exam. He was really disappointed but was given the same tooth on an exam just this last week and did awesome! He also realized that now he has a B in the class and doesn't have to stress during finals week about passing his tooth. Now, even if he doesn't pass the wax up during finals, his grade will stay the same. For most people (well me) a B is a great grade, but if you know Brad he gets discouraged and expects the best of himself, which most of the time is straight A's.

- Locked my keys in the car: Everyone has done this but I was still frustrated with myself. I took Jaxon to the library in the morning for "Toddler Time" and they must have fallen out of my small jacket pocket as I was getting him out of the car. Brad had a busy day at school and couldn't leave. Luckily I have an awesome friend who helped me out. Her husband came home for lunch to watch the kids, and she was able to drive me to go get a spare. It was an eventful day, but I felt so blessed to have such a sweet friend who took care of me.

- Car accident: I've never really been in a car accident but a few weeks ago I fishtailed on the slick freeway when it was raining and ran into a the barrier on the side. It was really scary and shook me up a little bit. I got a pretty good whip lash and some bruises, but nothing too serious. I know that my seatbelt saved me from horrible injury and that it could have been much worse if another car was involved. It was after practice so Jaxon wasn't in the car, and we were able to get it fixed pretty quickly (1week). We had lots of friends help drive us around and offered to let us borrow their cars to get where we needed to be. The night it happened, Brad's motorcycle tire had gone flat and he lost his wedding ring for a while, when trying to fix it. It was just one of those nights we looked at each other and thought "wow, can it get much worse than this." It's also a night I will always remember, because I was so grateful for my amazing husband. As I pulled into the parking lot with our smashed car he was waiting for me. I was crying and stressing about the money it would cost us. When I got out Brad didn't say anything about the car but just gave me a big hug and as we stood in the rain he told me he how much he loved me and how he was so grateful nothing worse had happened. I mean.. seriously, I love that guy!

- Losing streak: My volleyball team is full of great players but they cant seem to win many matches. It has made me discouraged and a little stressed as a coach. I want the best out of my girls and like any athlete or coach, I want to win. The positive is that the parents and players seem to like me, even if they make me crazy. Also the extra income has really been helpful with all the little accidents I have been having ;).

- Town House: We live in an apartment complex across the street from a little Town House neighborhood where 5 of our good friends and ward families live. We've pretty much decided that is where we want to move and live for the rest of Dental School. We went to dinner at our close friends, The Cook's, house one Sunday in January and told them to keep an eye out for us because in this complex, once they go for rent they are gone really quickly. Two days later they called us during dinner and said they never saw their neighbors move, but there was a realtor there and we needed to hurry over. We saw and loved the place. It was next door to our friends, had a big yard, garage, and was on cul-de-sac. We put in our application right away and started trying to sublet our apartment. Everything seemed to be falling into place, but then we got the bad news that the landlord didn't want students as his tenants because he had been burned by students before. We tried to explain we were not just some undergraduate party students, and that we were in professional school. We even offered to pay a whole year in advance, but for some weird reason they just said no. It was and still is really frustrating for Brad and I. It seemed like the perfect situation, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. Hopefully we will look back and read this and realize something better worked out.

-Phone: So after all of this we got our car back on Thursday night this week. Friday morning I decided to take Jaxon and go to running group at my friends house. After we went straight to the park to meet our ward play group, and apparently I set my phone on top of the car and put Jax in his car seat then forgot to get it off again. Yes, thats right, I drove off with the phone on top of the car and didn't even realize it. I didn't realize it when I got got the park and thought for sure I must have left it at my friends house earlier. After a long afternoon of looking we couldn't find it. I have insurance on my phone and can get a new one for almost any kind of damage, but not for losing it. Brad and I decided we would go right when Jaxon woke up this morning and trace the route I drove slowly to see if we could find it. I had driven it the day before, but it was worth one last try. After saying a little prayer, I spotted my green case on the side of the frontage road. The case was empty and we spent 20 minutes searching and finding all the little pieces of my smashed phone along the busy street. Haha unlike many other cute Valentines day mornings this will be one I will ever forget. 

 I have thought lately about a quote I loved from a talk given by President Uchdorf in the last General Woman's meeting:

"He knows of your sufferings. He knows of your remorse for the times you have fallen short or failed. And still He loves you.
And God knows of your successes; though they may seem small to you, He acknowledges and cherishes each one of them."
I feel so annoyed with myself for continuing to make dumb mistakes, but such is life. I am grateful to feel the love and peace that comes from reading the scriptures and praying each day. I know that even when life seems to be getting worse there is so much to be grateful for. The small successes are worth celebrating. I am grateful for the amazing friends we have who have helped and loved us over the last month. I am so proud of a husband who continues to wake up at 5 am everyday to study and work hard. I am grateful he truly loves me for my positive qualities and looks past my mistakes and imperfections often. He is my best friend, favorite person, and the most amazing father to our son. I am also grateful this Valentines day for my Savior, who showed the greatest atoning love for us all. I know he lives and loves us all.